Slothify Wrapped 2024
- The Sober Sloth
- Dec 10, 2024
- 8 min read
So here we are. We've nearly completed 2024. For the world at large, I'd say it's been a year of mixed reviews. But I am not a global commentator. I am The Sober Sloth, founder and chief sloth of self-titled, small alcohol-free drinks business The Sober Sloth. Here's a colourful peek at some of the highlights of 2024 for The Sober Sloth and our ride-or-die fan base, which in no way infringes upon the intellectual property rights of any streaming platforms 🙅 For those who are short of either time or attention there's a highlights reel at the bottom x
Favouritest Fruit/Sour Beer
There were so many iconic fruit and sour beers this year and frankly most of them could've taken the crown 👑 It feels like 2024 was the year flavoured AF beers really took off 🍒 Indeed Mash Gang produced a fair few that were hugely popular but they were undercut by an underdog - the spectacular 5-Fruit Gose by Brulo. This one sold out time and time again at The Sober Sloth and I get it with this one, I do. It helps that it comes from Brulo who cannot put a foot wrong when it comes to brewing alcohol-free sips. This gose is like a gateway drug but for alcohol-free beer. You try this, you'll want to try them all. It's a beer that's packed with flavour (5 different fruits if I'm counting correctly) and it's refreshing AF without being either too sweet or flat. If you had someone that was on the fence about trying an alcohol-free beer, you'd give them one of these and they'd be hooked. Then you'd tell them they can get their own from The Sober Sloth.
Classiest Cocktail 🍸
The Instagram poll had us believing the Espresso Martini was going to be the run away winner here, but NO. We've got a tie for best cocktail and the Espresso was nowhere to be seen 💨 The rum, lime & bitters-inspired Gunner Saint and Mavrik's Passion Star Martini both blew the Sloth Squad away this year and they kept coming back for more. Which do you prefer? While they tied for online sales, the Passion Star was the runaway winner at pop-up events. Its resemblance to the real thing had folks checking the ingredients list over and over again.
Most Popular Limited Edition Brew
Some are here for a long time, some just for a good time. Mash Gang in particular are renowned for their short-stay brews, but they're not alone, with Cloudwater and Drop Bear both producing some highly-sought bevs this year. They couldn't topple the phantom brewer though as the most popular limited edition brew this year went to the gang. Their collaboration with Pastore to be exact. The Sorbetto was a combination of blackcurrant, cherry and lime and above all others it's what the Sloth Squad wanted to quaff this year. With the expiration date on this brew falling in late December though and no plans for a re-brew, there's not much time to try it before it's gone forever. You know what you need to do. It's available at a reduced price now too. What more motivation do you need?
Best (permanent AF) Brewery
The category dedicated to the brewers who have set up a permanent home, both physically but also in our hearts. Undisputedly MG are the kings of the short-term brew, but what of those that are there for us year-round? The number of brewers is growing which is beautiful to see, but the far and away winner with The Sober Sloth crowd this year at least was Below Brew. With a selection including Forgot to Take My Pils, Check This Stout, and Tweet and Sour it's easy to see why. They're a pretty low-key brand in the AF world, but their brews are low-key incredible. I can't wait to see what they've got lined up for 2025. I would like to caveat this by saying that Cloudwater actually was the most popular permanent brewery in terms of how in-demand their drinks were at The Sober Sloth, but as they are predominantly an alcoholic drinks brewery, they weren't eligible for this category. Well done to them though and yay for a Manchester brewery killing it x
Stout Supreme
Stouts came into their own this year, and with the big boys in ireland producing a like for like alcohol-free version of their best seller, it was up to the smaller brewers to keep up. And boy did they? That's a rhetorical question because yes, they did. And the pick of the bunch for the Sloth Squad this year was the previously mentioned Below Brew: Check This Stout. I cannot argue with this; this is a real sloth favourite too. 🦒 Honeycomb pastry stout WHAT it's sort of like a liquid Crunchie. Sounds weird? Perhaps. Tastes incredible? Darn right. I'd probably call this a gateway stout too, because it has a bit more flavour that might appeal to a broader audience. Or not. I don't know what the people want. I like this though. Clear winner. 🥇
Most Popular Lager and Ale
I'm doing this as a two-for-one, in part because it's my platform and I can do what I want, and in part because the two drinks are both from the same brewer. Miraculously both of these drinks only joined the ranks in September, and yet somehow overtook all other lagers and ales that had been with us since the start. A new release often generates a fair bit of buzz and fair play to Firebrand for coming in at the right time. They stole the crowns this year with Little Wave Lager and Shorebreak Hazy Pale. 🍻
Winning Wine
I don't want to dwell on this category because no offence but the bar was pretty low. AF wines are yet to reach the quality that AF beers have found, but there are still a couple of goodies. Jukes Red was this year's winner amongst the Sloth Squad. It's sparkling and it's made with apple cider vinegar so at the very least it's an intriguing flavour. Apparently it mixes well with juice to make an improvised cocktail too? Each to their own. 🍷
CBD Champion
It's not just about the alcohol immitators. This year we discovered CBD drinks, which was TREMENDOUS for my wellbeing, but dreadful for my bank balance 💰 Luckily, I wasn't alone in seeing their benefits, and Little Rick's Sparkling Raspberry Coconut was the runaway favourite, despite my inability to spell raspberry correctly on the website. It's also the lowest sugar and lowest calorie option. Coincidence? Maybe. I personally preferred the raspberry lemonade but that's only recently been added to the ranks so it's not had as long to make it's mark. A sure winner for 2025, although with Brulo rumoured to be re-releasing their own CBD IPA there could be a healthy bit of competition... 🌿
Most Popular Collection
In the very beginning, The Sober Sloth actually only offered Collections, carefully curated, themed boxes of AF goodness. Being the magnanimous sloth I am though, I wanted to afford people free will and allow them to pick their own. Some preferred being told what to do though and so the Collections continued to flourish. And the winning Collection this year, beating out the stouts, lagers and mocktails was the Club Tropikana Collection. 🍍🍎🍓🍇
Flavour at every turn. Bam! Bit of peach. Oosh! Wave of pineapple. Shazam! Wall of cherry. If your tastebuds demand a bit of variety and fruity punches, you cannot go wrong with Club Tropikana. Was it your go-to Collection too?
The Sober Sloth: Big In...
Obviously Ramsbottom is where the biggest fanbase is. It's where it all started, the home of The Sober Sloth, physically, metaphorically, gastronomically, intergalactically. But 2024 saw The Sloth go national, introducing nationwide-deliveries, with fans popping up across each of the home nations. But where did we see the Sloth Squad grow the most? 🗺️ Even taking Ramsbottom out of the equation, the North West was where the Sloth Squad represented the most, with Liverpool and Wigan proving to have our most dedicated fans! Clearly there's something in the water that tastes gross and is driving folks towards the AF alternatives. Honourable mentions to Birmingham, Sunderland, South Shields and London though all of whom had hangover-swervers who kept coming back for more. In total, we found fans, friends and followers in 40 towns and cities across the UK and with plans to conquer the USA and Japan next year who knows where it'll end. 🇬🇧 Disclaimer: plans to conquer the USA and Japan are entirely abstract and unlikely to be followed through.
The Unappreciated One
I debated whether or not to include this, but I had the data so I thought it would still be fun to share the losers (note to self: think of a nicer word than loser before posting) as well as the winners this year. A bit of a surprise one this: Brulo's King For a Day NEIPA. 🥺 It's juicy and has the same quality of Brulo's other brews. Maybe it was overshadowed by the other Brulo greats. Perhaps it's because I stocked them in 2023 and they expired early in 2024; I can't really remember. A lot has happened this year. Let me know if you think I should get it back in so we can try and make it a winner in 2025.
Rave Reviews
This is just an opportunity to brag really. This year the wonderful Sloth Squad shared their thoughts 43 times on Trust Pilot and each and every one of them was a 5* review. Speaks volumes doesn't it? Rhetorical again - The Sloth is universally loved. Thank you to every one that took the time to share their experiences. The reviews are just as important as the sales. It's recognition and validation that what The Sober Sloth is doing matters. And that is just huge. 🙌
Range of drinks available in 2024
Some people have referred to The Sober Sloth as the Blockbuster of alcohol-free drinks and I think that's apt. Do we offer videos, DVDs and games? No. Can you 'rent' drinks from us and return them? No. Have we filed for insolvency? No. We do have a cult following though who would give their small toes in the name of the sloth, and we've stocked a huge range of tastebud-tinglers this year for you to choose from. In that respect, we are exactly like Blockbuster. 157 is the exact number of drinks we've offered this year. That's actually a bigger range than Blockbuster offers as they no longer exist so in many respects we are bigger than Blockbuster. Just take a moment to drink that in (lol pun intended). There weren't even that many Pokémon in 1997. Can we crack 200 next year? And of all of those 157 we offered, which was the favourite I hear you asking...
Drink of the Year
Here it is! The big one! The drink, above all others that took the crown. The one that everyone wanted. **DRUMROLL** 2024 was the year of the Twisst Caramel Cream. It wasn't even close - even before the late Christmas surge. 🏆 This Irish Cream alternative ruled the roost this year, selling more than twice as many as any other drink. Despite the best efforts of the AF beer crowd; the Caramel Cream just could not be toppled. If you've tried it, you'll know why. Stock is low at the moment but fear not if you've missed out so far; more are coming before the end of the week so I can get them to you before the big day
And that. Is a wrap, as they say. Do you agree with the results? Be sure to stick around to help influence the outcome next year!
Thank you so much for being part of the journey in 2024, whether you've bought drinks, come to say hello, told friends, given me a review, sent me a message, followed along on socials or even just sent good vibes. It's been unreal - truly better than I thought it could possibly be when I started 18 months ago. I've got some exciting things lined up for 2025. I can't say too much but think bigger & better, and I'm delighted, thrilled, genuinely honoured and humbled to have you along for the ride.
Cheers! 🍻💚
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